hanging out with friends:-)

There is always pure bliss when you meet old friends. Sans the fact that we were pigging out(hahaha) we had notorious fun!It was worth the under time:-)

so mUch has been left UNSAID

I couldn't understand why for someone who is fond of words,I couldn't give in to a simple plea.

"Tell us something about your lovelife",they said.

It was so short but it was all that was neeeded to leave me SPEECHLESS.

I appreciate my friends because of their ability to be candid.They can recount a narrative and say how they felt about it without hesitation.It felt strange that I couldn't be as OPEN.

So right here,in this portal,allow me to dispel IT.

I chose not to talk because I don't know IF I had TO. Talking for me would only mean I will dignify the pain and just when you start to utter the syllables of your first words , the hurt hits you with a jab, and like a broken record it runs a scornful repetition.

Part of the coping mechanism they say is to shield your thoughts from bitter memories. So I had to think of the mushy quotes, the sweet gestures, the movie hang-outs, the effort to talk with my father even if his Bisaya was so dismal. He was nice,no questions about that. And maybe I forgot that for those moments of being unapologetically happy, I was bound to be completely clueless after.

So in my perplexed mind,I called up a friend.I told her how helpless I am.She would constantly follow me up and during those intermittent calls,his father had eavesdropped once.He said "something" and his analysis was enough to let me burst into laughters.

Yet, even laughter was a short term remedy.

When you're alone in the biting chill of your room,you still brood over IT. Maybe pussyfooting has become a serious hobby for him. Maybe I had gotten so confused.But at the very least,I had expected him to do better than what he did.

I have made a decision.I will remain silent. I want that one day,when I'll meet him again- I can meet him straight in the eye with the subtle pride that springs from the knowledge that until the very end I played FAIR even when he can't afford to do the same.