The Black Parade

May 1,2009-We had a collective decision,or so I thought,to have a silent protest for coming to work on Labor Day without just compensation. Over the long weekend,I had enough time to think on these twinges of emotion.

*To Maam April:

I will stand my ground that WHAT you DID was WRONG.You could have told us your hesitation rather than make us believe.First and foremost,you are our HEAD.Everything you say and everything you do directly affect us. Avoid playing with words. Don’t initiate an action if you mean to desert us. Don’t abuse confidence by name dropping.Don’t be a spineless fence-sitter.Granting,but not conceding,you are in a delicate position.But will a peaceful and well-meditated course of action be a valid threat to it?Certainly not. You said it was a case of being forgetful.I couldn’t think of a better rebuff than my friend’s question “Aren’t you paid to remember?” When I saw your eyes well out with tears,I felt your sincerity.And when I hugged you near my cubicle,it was a moving moment. Without sounding intrusive,I want to remind you that there are times when being sorry is more preferable than being safe.Don’t let your loyalty to your job distort your sense of right.With all sincerity,I’m letting bygones be bygones. Lastly,don’t think it’s doomsday.You can get over this.Learn from the rift. Being better sometimes comes with pain.

*To the Jeju team:
I remember Carla asking me is she could have the Korean message for her substitution class and me giving a “Can you ask my “bestfriend” to send it for you?. When the lesson plans were passed,I talked to Kota and requested him to deliver it to Maam April’s table. After “it” happened, Jely texted me telling she doesn’t know what to say. Drew has been there deliberately cracking jokes.,which,admittedly,helped,a little….hahaha… Irene has chosen to be mum and has been happy sporting her Korean hairstyle. Shortly saying, the bickering must have put them in an uncomfortable situation too. But what I’m proudest of my team mates is their professional sensitivity. Never had they badgered me to talk about it.Instead,we feasted on bukayo and made me feel that business was usual.

*To Taipan Diners:

Rose,Darryl,Cherryl,Nice,Sheng,Pao,Jane and Drew You asked if I wanted ice cream to cool down in jest but seeing you dine with me after that heated moment meant so MUCH.Nothing beats good food and a rowdy company to tame blazing emotions.

*To the one who signed but when asked was surprised of its contents:

Everytime you affix your signature,it’s a manifestation that you have completely understood what you are signing.It was explained that everybody can choose to sign or not to sign the document.It wasn’t an autograph or a send-off card that you can sign in haste.It was something important.If there was something you did not understand,you could have OPTED not to sign it.It’s a wiser decision rather than you sounding clueless and looking poker-faced.

*To the Management:

Let me make it clear,I did not shout.We were not at a close distance that’s why the volume of my voice was heightened.The only thing I will apologize for would be disturbing your investor who came to visit you at eleven pm. It’s high time for you to be more factual and to stop relying on hearsays. You had argued it was too urgent and that during your painful experience,we did not even have the sympathy to say condolence. We also felt sad when your family suffered those series of deaths.We even had a silent prayer during one of our meetings.Rose even cried when she heard the terrible news.In our simple ways,we tried to be sympathetic.Maybe not in the way you expected it,which is through uttering the word “condolence”,but WE WERE,believe it or not WITH YOU during those times. And with all due respect,abandon the PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE. Professionalism calls that you don’t put the burden of understanding you on your employees.The concerns written on that letter have long been overdue.Some have been waiting foe their lump sums not just for a month but for months.Hypothetically,what if that money was supposed to be used for this semester’s enrolment.Will the management’s personal tragedy justify the employees’ inability to enroll because of inadequate funds? It’s about time for the management to learn the art of constructive criticism.Of course,the letter will be firm-worded and it wouldn’t be written in the same fashion as the letters of requests that you often receive.But you should be less cynical and instead of over reacting,review if the the points have merits.

What saddens me the most is the fact that there’s got to be “something to happen” before you would sit down and conduct a meeting. The office has an intelligent workforce and it is but fair to constantly hear them out.
Would you rather that employees keep it to themselves,be dissatisfied,and in effect have poor performance at work?
Feedback is healthy.It’s a way to implement checks and balances.The management should learn that its sole duty is not only in giving wages every 15th or 30th of the month.That would be very myopic.You have a lofty vision and the only way to do it is for the company to institutionalize timely changes.Surely,business acumen isn’t just concentrated in amassing profits.There’s got to be room for taking good care of your employees for if you’ll do,you’ll make it harder for them to not take care of their jobs.

*To Louise:

I don’t know if it would have been different had you been around last Tuesday night.But when we had the sit down meeting and I was unexplainably hurt,you got my reasons come across.Aside from being articulate,you had shown how level-headed and objective you are. You had spelled out the word LOYALTY in bold letters to me. In your presence,I become more insightful,more vocal,more prescient,less hungry and okay I’ll try to be less toddler-like in saying hello.hahaha

*To all those who witnessed it :

Many of you were confused.Many of you were anxious.Some of you were entertained.But beyond the dynamic exchanges,I hope it made you THINK.It has never been about Maam April and me.It’s about what we believe and how we decided to act on those beliefs.What happened last Tuesday should not sidetrack the real issues for its what count the most.

*To Myself :

Last week was unusual.I have known you to be feisty but this feistiness is often limited to debate matches.You always have that everything-is-peachy attitude and you value your peace above all else.

But I saw you provoked and the next thing I knew you were fuming.
I. Part of the fury was the issue on trust.You spent sleepless nights drafting the letters,taking instructions on what to include and what not to include,furnishing both soft copies and hard copies for editing and before you know it the very person you trusted put you on the line.
II. Another would be loyalty to a cause.You can’t believe how somebody you had respected could abandon a valid cause.Worst,what piqued you was you learned about it at the last moment.
III. It’s also about a distorted view on leadership.
You were schooled thinking that leaders (with the exception of nasty politics) put themselves last not first.
IV. You were angered by continuous story switching.
It’s heart wrenching to be lied and when you hear it over and over again,you just explode.But looking back,I like the fact that you were assertive.It shows that you have a clear distinction of what’s right and what’s wrong.At the risk of you looking miffed,you were
relentless.

Now that emotions have been dusted off, you can’t wait to see the progress.

Endure this.Cherish tried and tested friends.Continue to be decisive.Be better on your craft. Don’t be complacent. Be vigilant especially on the next steps that will take effect.

I know sometimes you get weary and you start asking questions like “Do I deserve what’s happening?” Stop the urge to ask this and find inspiration on the truckload of lessons you learned.

Most of all FORGIVE.Bear in mind that grateful people achieve closure by making sense of negative events so that they mesh with a generally positive outlook.

Two months from now,it will be your birthday.
If you had done these must-do’s, then you’re more than ready to be 24.